You Are Old When

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A trip down memory lane for older youngsters !!!
 
OLDER THAN DIRT

'Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?' 'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him. 'All the food was slow.'
'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?' 'It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained. 'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.' By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:
Some parents NEVER owned their own house,

•  wore jeans
  
• set foot on a golf course
• traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Timothy Eatons. Or maybe it was Simpsons. Either way, there is no Eatons or Simpsons anymore. Maybe they died.

• My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we'd never  heard of soccer.
  
• I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).
• We didn't have a television in our house until I was 10. It was, of course, black and white
• I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.' When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.
• We didn't have a car until I was 4. It was an old black Dodge.
  
• I never had a telephone in my own room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could twirl the dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know wasn't already on the party line.

• Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.
• All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. My brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at  6AM every morning. On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.
  

• Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing and they didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies. French movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren.

1. Head light dimmer switches on the floor.
2. Ignition switches on the dashboard.
3. Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall. 
4. Real ice boxes, and ice that was delivered.
5. Tires had inner tubes and cars had running boards.
6. Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards. 
7. Soldering irons you heated on a gas burner.
8. Ice skates had blades with hollow tubes in them.
9. Using hand signals in a car without turn signals. 
10. No in-line skates, but metal roller skates had keys and could be adjusted to fit big or small feet.
    

• Blackjack chewing gum
• Lucky Elephant boxed popcorn with pink sugar coating and a prize in every box -- Only 5 cents
• Candy cigarettes
• Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
  
• Coffee shops or diners with table side juke boxes
• Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard lids, (mom left the money in the empty bottle overnight on the "front porch veranda" or the "back stoop")
  
• Party lines
• Newsreels before the movie
• Shoe stores had x-ray machines to measure feet.
•  Butch wax
• TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels)
•  Peashooters
• Howdy Doody45 RPM records (and those little plastic wheel inserts that helped to fit the records on the spindle). 
• Saturday matinee movies for 10 cents  with cowboys or the 3 stooges
• sitting around the radio at night listening to Charley McCarthy and Edgar Bergen
• Metal ice trays with lever
• carbon paper to make a copy
• Blue flashbulb
• Packards
• coluring books, and cut-out books
• Cork popguns
• Drive-ins
• Studebakers
• Wash tub wringers
  

• If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young If you remembered
  
• 6-10 = You are getting older If you remembered
  
• 11-15 = Don't tell your age, If you remembered 1
• 6-25 = You're older than dirt!

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